Mutti Chronicles

Mutti enjoys reading the Classified Ads in the newspaper. It’s the most entertaining part lately. There’s interesting stuff in the classifieds. Pictures of birthday people, job postings, lost and found, stuff for sale , etc. Today’s lost and found featured a lost heifer. Or rather, a heifer that someone found.Yes, that’s right . You have to ask yourself how does one lose a cow? Better question: how does one happen to find a cow? Are you walking down the street and you just find a cow? Or does the cow just show up in your backyard? Or does your kid just bring a cow home? Possibly you’re looking through your other cows and you notice you have an extra one. I guess that part will have to remain a mystery! “Please call to identify”. You gotta love that part!

…So I bought one of those ergonomically correct pillows that is supposed to keep your neck in proper alignment so you don’t wake up with a stiff neck and a headache. Things started out well, it seemed comfortable, but I woke up with the worst headache! Maybe it’s from those little egg carton shaped things that stick into your head all night. I’ll give it another chance and see what happens.
…This morning I saw my whole life flash in front of me. I’m driving down the entrance ramp to the highway and the car in front of me decides to come to a complete stop. There was plenty of room for him/her to merge but instead he/she decided to just plain stop. And the car behind me wasn’t paying too much attention because he/she almost rear ended me cuz I had to slam on the brakes. A new car would be nice but Mr Jeep has to last a while longer. On the other hand, I’ve started having this craving to have a stick shift again. It’s so much fun to drive.
…Later on the same car trip I saw a vanity plate that read “Mutti J”. “Gasp!” I’m the only one who’s supposed to be Mutti!
…Of course the son does homework and studies. It’s just that he has soooo… much free time, he has plenty of time to do it in. From the sounds of it, he’s going to the educationally- challenged-make-it-way-too-easy – school for people more interested in sports than study. I could be wrong though!

…the beloved Jeep is fixed again…minus the AC…so of course it’s hot and humid again…
…Mutti has returned to her place of employment…no one even noticed I hadn’t been there for 3 weeks (I wonder is they’d notice if I didn’t take any calls for 3 weeks)
…my first day back they gave me a new job for the day…but didn’t bother to explain how to do it…just threw a manual at me and said figure it out…(note to employer: please don’t make me do that again tomorrow)
…the son has been moved to his place of education…following which Mutti has overslept 3 days in a row
…the beloved Caesar has learned a new trick…picking up his food bowl when he’s hungry and then carrying it around until someone notices
…and last but not least…and this is my favorite…Jennifer (after falling off a cliff several times, hanging by a vine for 3 days, and then giving birth in a cave) is suffering from uncontrollable bleeding. Tony is able to stop the bleeding using a palm leaf…Yeah right. I’m pretty sure I would NOT want a palm leaf stuffed up my birth canal.