…the kids’ mom, the dog’s mom, the kitty’s mom, and now I am the puppy’s mom. I read this again in my e-mail and still think it’s hysterical…
The following are different answers given by
elementary
school age
children to each of the given questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape
is.
2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more
people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He
just
used bigger
parts.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other
mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other
people’s
moms like me
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice
in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then
they
mostly use
string. I think.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that
other
stuff.
2. Idon’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess
would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
How did your mom meet your dad?
1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting
What did mom need to know about dad before she married
him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
Does
he get
drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did
he
say NO to drugs
and YES to chores.
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And
my mom
eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking
cap
on.
What makes a real woman?
1. It means you have to be really bossy without
looking
bossy.
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because
dads
such a goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the
stuff
under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more
to
do than dad.
What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just
got to
work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring
them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the
real
power
’cause that’s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep
over
at your
friend’s.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What’s the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy.
Sometimes moms don’t
even have bread on them!
Describe the world’s greatest mom?
1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn’t make me kiss
my
fat aunts!
3. She’d always be smiling and keep her opinions to
herself.
Is anything about your mom perfect?
1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the
dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I
think
some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d dye-it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what
would it
be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room
clean.
I’d get rid of
that.