Mutti Chronicles

NOTICE TO PEOPLE WHO VISIT OUR HOME
1. Our dog lives here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.
3. Yes, she has some disgusting habits. So do we and so do
you. What’s your point?
4. Of course she smells like a dog.
5. It’s her nature to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to
sniff her’s.
6. We like her a lot better than we like many people.
7. To you she’s a dog. To us she’s an adopted child who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn’t speak clearly. We have no
problem with any of these things.
8. Dogs are different than kids. They eat less, don’t ask
for money all the time, are easier to train, act like they like you,
usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with
drug-using
friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t want the latest fashions, don’t
wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if
they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.
9. Yes, she barks— that’s her job.
10. Unlike some humans, she is loyal, has unconditional love,
and does not question our decisions.

And Our Kitty Lives Here Too…

I think this should go under the just too funny to be true category. I took my kitty, the adorable Digby, to the vet today for his free physical. And also to find out when we could have the surgery done. Well as it turns out, Digby’s ummmm…how should I put this… male genitalia are too small yet. I dunno, but this seems a bit embarrassing to the poor little guy. But on the other hand, it’s just so hysterical. “Come back in 2 weeks and we’ll check again” said the vet. Yeah, like I want my rear end checked out every two weeks.

Now that my little friend has almost gone, I’m feeling a little less hostile. But the whole women in public restrooms thing is still true. Ok now on to my employer. Today I had a little class in reversing everything I was taught about how to handle calls relating to my employer’s relationship to Amazon.com. Well this is typical for my employer. Lets preach and preach and preach about how to do something and then completely reverse ourselves. As we were told today, it is not our job to take customers away from Amazon.com, or sell them anything , simply to answer questions for them and help them navigate the Amazon.com website.. Well my question would be why can’t Amazon.com answer their own questions and help their own customers navigate their website? This will not make any sense to anyone at all, unless of course you work for my employer.

Made it back from Chicago ok after taking every wrong route home. Fort Sheridan’s not a bad place, but I wouldn’t want to have to drive there very often. So me and my little friend(you know PMS)(I can say that cuz nobody’s reading this anyway) had so much fun getting back home. After stopping at every bathroom between there and here we finally got home at 5:30. What is it about women and public restrooms? If the door is locked why must you continue to try to turn the knob or pound on the door. THAT MEANS SOMEONE IS IN THERE! I’m sorry but this stuff takes time! Anyway, my little Digby was happy to see me. I left him a huge bowl of water and I think he’s trying to use it as a swimming pool. He keeps plunking his feet into it.

..it’s off to Chicago I go. It positvely won’t be fun. Hi ho..Hi ho.. Ok and on and on. The driving part won’t be fun. At least we don’t have to go all the way into the city. Just slightly north of the city. And my dear little Digby has to stay home alone. The only part that worries me is that we may have thunder and lightning while we’re away and he might be scared all alone. Did I mention how adorable cute he is? Probably!

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